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by Paddy McGuffin of the Morning Star
Well this week will see the great and not-so good descend on a luxury hotel in Fermanagh for their annual talking shop and mutual display of back slapping.

Not that it will achieve anything except puff up their egos and let them gorge themselves on luxury food like foie gras geese whilst pretending to wring their hands over world hunger.

Anyone naive enough to think there was any genuine will to help the developing world only had to look at the shenanigans in London last weekend where Cameron boasted of millions of pounds of aid to Africa, while conveniently not mentioning that the aid is actually going to Monsanto and other multi-nationals.

Now what could possibly go wrong with that? Except, ooh I don’t know, absolutely bloody everything!

There are few problems that a conclave of world leaders cannot make worse and if you add Monsanto et al into the mix it’s guaranteed to be catastrophic – not for them but for the poor sods at the bottom.

These scumbags are not exactly renowned for their altruistic nature or outpourings of largesse. Giving them control of the aid budget is like telling Harold Shipman your granny’s loaded.

The fact that most, if not all, of the firms that have signed up for the scheme are agri-businesses with highly dubious track records should tell you exactly where the G8’s priorities lie and it’s not with the poor.

In fact even when the G8 nations do pledge money most of it never actually materialises – disappearing into that mystical vacuum that is the global financial equivalent of “it must have got lost down the back of the sofa.”

The fact this year’s junket is being held in Northern Ireland raised more than a few eyebrows, not least from the PSNI, who are already a bit busy what with flag protests and dissident Republicans.

Thousands of cops are having to be drafted in from all over Britain, extra “fast track” courts have been set up and temporary holding cells established in preparation for the traditional warm greeting the G8 always receives.

The hotel itself is behind a ring of steel the likes of which hasn’t been seen since, well, since the last beezer this lot held.

And then- just to ensure everything goes like clockwork – they hand the major security contract to G4S. These chancers must have incriminating photos of senior Cabinet ministers in some seriously compromising positions.

David Cameron in a gimp mask being horse-whipped by Rebekah Brooks perhaps, or Iain Duncan Smith smearing himself in the blood of children. There’s no other feasible explanation.

And speaking of people in compromising positions, this brings us nicely to the news that El Presidente Blair has reportedly landed himself another fat contract with yet another set of seriously dubious clients. Not that this should come as much of a surprise as that is basically his raison d’etre.

The fact that its in Mongolia is however rather bemusing, until that is you realise that it also involves planet rapers extraordinaire Rio Tinto.

There can’t be many ethically-challenged multi-nationals left that Blair hasn’t shilled for at one time or another, and then there all the despots and murderous regimes of course, Kazakhstan, Kuwait, Colombia… to name just a few.

Blair was reportedly brought in to mediate, which is of course his forte…

Its no wonder his Middle East peace envoy role has taken a bit of a back seat – unless he’s just really bad at geography and thinks Ulaanbataar is in the Gaza Strip. That would at least explain why he never seems to manage to get to the West Bank.


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